Back during my first attempt at the college gig I lived in a dorm. This was pre-Facebook. So I had one of those small white boards on my door for people to leave me notes. Or for me to post things for those who would sometimes stop by. Sometimes I would write down random quotes, or random questions that my sleep deprived mind would be pondering. Always with plenty of space for comment. And there would always be a couple of good comments. So for if this blog ever has enough traffic to get a healthy comment section going, here are some random musings to comment on. In no order or anything.
Why does the coffee at a good diner, or greasy spoon taste better than anywhere else? Is it the well worn porcelain mugs, stained with the 1,000 well enjoyed cups before? Maybe its that the coffee is being paired with good food, and the memories or expectations of good food. But even when I just sit there at 4am, the coffee was best in that well worn mug. Is there some secret ingredient that kept silent with a knowing nod amongst short order cooks? Is it the random pieces of Americana on the walls? Does the Muzak in the background set the correct mood to enjoy coffee? Why does making the same coffee at home just feel like a pale imitation. And why does after feeling like I can do anything while drinking a pot of that coffee in the diner, walking through my door at home I suddenly need to nap? Does the caffeine in the coffee die quicker than normal? And why is it always 4am when I'm in these diners?
Why does it take so long to teach Pandora the difference between the awful music I dont like, and the garbage 90's heroin rock I do love? And what does that say about me? Should I be worried that now 90's rock bands are reuniting that they will ruin their music? Also, side note, why is the song I haven't heard in 5+ years always the last one Pandora plays before I leave? And why does it always get stuck in my head? Also, where did all the good rock radio stations go?
Why did hipsters have to ruin bowling shirts? And how long until they are no longer ironic so they stop wearing them? And can someone explain to me how doing something you know is stupid is ironic, and or not a stupid thing to do? How mean spirited is it to tell them that gravity is too mainstream, and hand them a copy of Hitchhikers Guide so they can learn to fly?
Should I worry that I've become so boring that going insane sounds like it my be entertaining? Am I already there? Have over corrected from the boring and mundane to the point of coming off as random, odd, and not to be let around other people? Where did all that 'can do' spirit of my youth go? Can I get it back with out some stupid nutritional pills from GNC? Did I even have 'can do' spirit, or was that just false memories from TV and self delusion?
Joke writing exercise: (note this is normally done on a bar napkin, so that's my totally valid excuse for these being terrible)
Premise: "Crazy girls are like a roller coaster..."
#1) Crazy girls are like a roller coaster, there's ups and downs. The loopy-loops are fun until the cops get involved.
#2) Crazy girls are like a roller coaster, the older they get, the scarier they are to ride
#3) Crazy girls are like a roller coaster, have to be ok with being scared to enjoy the ride
#4) Crazy girls are like a roller coaster, the Disney ones aren't as much fun as the Halloween ones.
#5) Crazy girls are like a roller coaster, when in doubt throw your hands up and yell "Wheee!"
Yeah I think that's about all I got this time round.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thoughts of American Self Importance.
So for my first real rant, I thought I'd start with something guaranteeing that no one will read the next one. That way I can make sure to keep this blog a private conversation between Me, Myself, and I. So what is going to alienate almost any prospective reader? Addressing my thoughts of American Self Importance. I will fight the urge to run into all the different tangents that will pop up. But no promises. So with out furthur stalling for my coffee to finish brewing lets jump in.
I start this rant with the idea that someone who truly loves something can admit there's a problem and reach out for it to get better. Also, I come to this rant feeling the best thing to do is to steal good ideas from where ever they are.
Something I have noticed more with each passing year, and each new person I meet is this. Americans are a dangerous combination of self important, greedy, and ignorant. And yes this also includes me. But let me explain what I mean. Now anyone who has worked in a service industry, especially food services, will know where I am coming from. How many times have you heard/said the phrase "It's my money, I don't care what the chef/policy/law/physics say. Do it my way." Now this can be something as simple as a restaurant the doesn't serve top cuts of meat well done, or not having a gluten free bread option at the ready. Maybe something more difficult like having a random engine noise diagnosed and repaired for under $100 and within the hour.
Now, no one likes being told no. It breaks us out of our self important worlds. We are no longer the center of attention when someone doesn't grovel for our approval. We think of ourselves as the expert on what we want. We don't want to hear from the experts on what is realistic. When people find out I have a degree in Poli-Sci, they have one of two questions, assuming they don't also have one. The first question is often "what the hell is wrong with you? Didn't you ever want to be employed?" and the second is "why is politics in America broken?" To the first question? Honestly I am someone who would rather learn than do. While that makes me sound lazy, and man am I ever, it really means I thrive on new things. So career path-ing was something i never really worried about. Ooops. To the second question I usually answer "selfishness."
Yes that is a cheap and easy out. But it has a lot of merit. The rant on whether or not federal government is doing exactly what it was designed to is for another time. But as far as tackling the idea of why when presented with with clear cut problems with answers agreed upon by experts nothing gets done, selfishness is a fair answer. Campaign finance reform? Well the people there got there under the current rules, why change them to something you might not win at? Tax reform? Well if you already know how to play the tax system, and the people you interact with most do as well, why throw it all out?
But that's not the major problem. How can you take advice from others if you cannot admit to being wrong about your views and opinions. There is a feeling that because I am an American, I am the best. I know whats right in my head/gut/heart. That's a stupid way to live. If not reckless once you are in a position of authority.
Back to the restaurant again. Unless you are in a very foodie place the role of a waiter in the USA is different from that in Europe. An American waiter is there to tell you the specials (whats cheap) and to make sure any special requests you have get taken care off (grovel and appease) and if they dance this song well you might be bothered to tip. They are not the expert, you are. We dont even have to pay them well, because they are stupid, and if you get one of the 'good ones' you will help them out with a tip. In Europe the waiter is there to make sure you have a good experience. They are there to steer you away from bad choices and into good meals. They are the experts.
Quick Story Time: When I was an exchange student in Germany the group was spending the day touring the city. Well shortly after noon we broke for lunch. Most went to this nice looking upscale patio restaurant, while I wandered into a hole in the wall. Walked in, asked in my best German for what ever the chef recommends and a beer to match. While I was waiting for my lunch (which was amazing btw) an American couple walked in and sat for lunch. The guy immediately orders the most expensive steak on the menu well done. The server was a very nice lady, in her 40's or 50's and her husband was the chef. She in very polite and accented English informed the man that they would not disrespect the meat by cooking it above medium, But they had a wonderful hand made meatloaf today, and have their own hand made burgers on special. Now here's the part that made me wish it was a Canadian flag on my bag instead. He raised his voice back to her saying "it's my money I will have it well done!" To her credit she smiled at him and told him about how they had been doing business with the same farm for years, and if he really wanted to know she could probably tell him the name of the cow he was about to eat. Meanwhile the guys girlfriend is turning bright red, embarrassed as he should have been. In the end he was so rude that the waitress asked him to leave. And he went, dragging his girlfriend by the wrist.
There are many things wrong with that interaction. But the thing that amazes me to this day, is that EVERY cook I have met or work with has a similar story. Someone trying to help you with their expertise being shot down, and called out for trying to help you grow. Some will say well that's bad customer service. Without his money you loose out on profit. Maybe, okay you do for that meal. But if what makes you successful is making sure everyone who talks about the food in your place only has good stories about the food, why let someone order something that is going to be not good? Just because I have money, and want something doesnt mean I should get it.
If I come to you for your expertise, I have to be humble enough to take the advice you give. That's true of any field. If I goto a mechanic and he tells me I need a new timing belt because its 90,000 miles and its worn out. I am not going to tell him he's wrong just because I have listened to an episode of Car Talk once in the last 10 years. I need to accept the bad news now that I need to pay the upkeep, instead of ignoring it in the short term and paying for it 10 fold in the long term.
As Americans we expect everything, and we expect it for free. To combine the mantras of two very good professors I have been lucky enough to have, "there is no such thing as a free lunch, and physics is a bitch." You cant get something for nothing, when you try to cheat unintended consequences will make it much worse than just paying upfront. Think of all the components of a modern infrastructure for a modern nation we have decaying, out of date, or non-existent. We expect them to be there when we need them, but dont want to put any of the upfront labor or expense on building or maintaining them.
I have been to other countries, and yes American is great, and has a lot of wonderful things about it. But this inability to take the advice of those in the know is self castration. And it can be just as painful. There are experts out there who have spent their lives understanding an aspect of the human condition in a way we simply dont have time or interest to do. We need to be big enough as people to accept that we cannot know everything. Scott Adams wrote in his book The Dilbert Principle that everyone has moments of being stupid. I agree. If I dont make 10 mistakes in an hour, then I must be asleep. But that's ok. We learn more from mistakes than successes. Accepting I can be wrong frees me to learn and accept/steal the ideas from those in the know on that particular subject. No human being can master every subject. Jack of all trades master of none.
The most successful people I have worked for had one thing in common. They were honest with them selves. They admitted when they didn't have the answer. That freed them to find out and learn something new that may help later. It allowed them to discover unidentified resources in their own organizations. What? Shelly studies this on her spare time, or has handled this case type the most often? Well lets listen to her advice. Also being able to admit we dont know the answer frees us up to discover that no one may know the answer.
(short story time #2 skipped for sanity of the reader)
I want the American Empire to thrive. I live here. And I have a sick optimism that correctly directed a humanitarian American Empire could uplift the living conditions of billions in this world. If we are going to see that future, the emperor has to be humble enough to admit he has no clothes. And we as citizens have to be humble enough to admit that we dont have all the answers. In fact, we may be very lucky and very special if we have any answers at all.
I start this rant with the idea that someone who truly loves something can admit there's a problem and reach out for it to get better. Also, I come to this rant feeling the best thing to do is to steal good ideas from where ever they are.
Something I have noticed more with each passing year, and each new person I meet is this. Americans are a dangerous combination of self important, greedy, and ignorant. And yes this also includes me. But let me explain what I mean. Now anyone who has worked in a service industry, especially food services, will know where I am coming from. How many times have you heard/said the phrase "It's my money, I don't care what the chef/policy/law/physics say. Do it my way." Now this can be something as simple as a restaurant the doesn't serve top cuts of meat well done, or not having a gluten free bread option at the ready. Maybe something more difficult like having a random engine noise diagnosed and repaired for under $100 and within the hour.
Now, no one likes being told no. It breaks us out of our self important worlds. We are no longer the center of attention when someone doesn't grovel for our approval. We think of ourselves as the expert on what we want. We don't want to hear from the experts on what is realistic. When people find out I have a degree in Poli-Sci, they have one of two questions, assuming they don't also have one. The first question is often "what the hell is wrong with you? Didn't you ever want to be employed?" and the second is "why is politics in America broken?" To the first question? Honestly I am someone who would rather learn than do. While that makes me sound lazy, and man am I ever, it really means I thrive on new things. So career path-ing was something i never really worried about. Ooops. To the second question I usually answer "selfishness."
Yes that is a cheap and easy out. But it has a lot of merit. The rant on whether or not federal government is doing exactly what it was designed to is for another time. But as far as tackling the idea of why when presented with with clear cut problems with answers agreed upon by experts nothing gets done, selfishness is a fair answer. Campaign finance reform? Well the people there got there under the current rules, why change them to something you might not win at? Tax reform? Well if you already know how to play the tax system, and the people you interact with most do as well, why throw it all out?
But that's not the major problem. How can you take advice from others if you cannot admit to being wrong about your views and opinions. There is a feeling that because I am an American, I am the best. I know whats right in my head/gut/heart. That's a stupid way to live. If not reckless once you are in a position of authority.
Back to the restaurant again. Unless you are in a very foodie place the role of a waiter in the USA is different from that in Europe. An American waiter is there to tell you the specials (whats cheap) and to make sure any special requests you have get taken care off (grovel and appease) and if they dance this song well you might be bothered to tip. They are not the expert, you are. We dont even have to pay them well, because they are stupid, and if you get one of the 'good ones' you will help them out with a tip. In Europe the waiter is there to make sure you have a good experience. They are there to steer you away from bad choices and into good meals. They are the experts.
Quick Story Time: When I was an exchange student in Germany the group was spending the day touring the city. Well shortly after noon we broke for lunch. Most went to this nice looking upscale patio restaurant, while I wandered into a hole in the wall. Walked in, asked in my best German for what ever the chef recommends and a beer to match. While I was waiting for my lunch (which was amazing btw) an American couple walked in and sat for lunch. The guy immediately orders the most expensive steak on the menu well done. The server was a very nice lady, in her 40's or 50's and her husband was the chef. She in very polite and accented English informed the man that they would not disrespect the meat by cooking it above medium, But they had a wonderful hand made meatloaf today, and have their own hand made burgers on special. Now here's the part that made me wish it was a Canadian flag on my bag instead. He raised his voice back to her saying "it's my money I will have it well done!" To her credit she smiled at him and told him about how they had been doing business with the same farm for years, and if he really wanted to know she could probably tell him the name of the cow he was about to eat. Meanwhile the guys girlfriend is turning bright red, embarrassed as he should have been. In the end he was so rude that the waitress asked him to leave. And he went, dragging his girlfriend by the wrist.
There are many things wrong with that interaction. But the thing that amazes me to this day, is that EVERY cook I have met or work with has a similar story. Someone trying to help you with their expertise being shot down, and called out for trying to help you grow. Some will say well that's bad customer service. Without his money you loose out on profit. Maybe, okay you do for that meal. But if what makes you successful is making sure everyone who talks about the food in your place only has good stories about the food, why let someone order something that is going to be not good? Just because I have money, and want something doesnt mean I should get it.
If I come to you for your expertise, I have to be humble enough to take the advice you give. That's true of any field. If I goto a mechanic and he tells me I need a new timing belt because its 90,000 miles and its worn out. I am not going to tell him he's wrong just because I have listened to an episode of Car Talk once in the last 10 years. I need to accept the bad news now that I need to pay the upkeep, instead of ignoring it in the short term and paying for it 10 fold in the long term.
As Americans we expect everything, and we expect it for free. To combine the mantras of two very good professors I have been lucky enough to have, "there is no such thing as a free lunch, and physics is a bitch." You cant get something for nothing, when you try to cheat unintended consequences will make it much worse than just paying upfront. Think of all the components of a modern infrastructure for a modern nation we have decaying, out of date, or non-existent. We expect them to be there when we need them, but dont want to put any of the upfront labor or expense on building or maintaining them.
I have been to other countries, and yes American is great, and has a lot of wonderful things about it. But this inability to take the advice of those in the know is self castration. And it can be just as painful. There are experts out there who have spent their lives understanding an aspect of the human condition in a way we simply dont have time or interest to do. We need to be big enough as people to accept that we cannot know everything. Scott Adams wrote in his book The Dilbert Principle that everyone has moments of being stupid. I agree. If I dont make 10 mistakes in an hour, then I must be asleep. But that's ok. We learn more from mistakes than successes. Accepting I can be wrong frees me to learn and accept/steal the ideas from those in the know on that particular subject. No human being can master every subject. Jack of all trades master of none.
The most successful people I have worked for had one thing in common. They were honest with them selves. They admitted when they didn't have the answer. That freed them to find out and learn something new that may help later. It allowed them to discover unidentified resources in their own organizations. What? Shelly studies this on her spare time, or has handled this case type the most often? Well lets listen to her advice. Also being able to admit we dont know the answer frees us up to discover that no one may know the answer.
(short story time #2 skipped for sanity of the reader)
I want the American Empire to thrive. I live here. And I have a sick optimism that correctly directed a humanitarian American Empire could uplift the living conditions of billions in this world. If we are going to see that future, the emperor has to be humble enough to admit he has no clothes. And we as citizens have to be humble enough to admit that we dont have all the answers. In fact, we may be very lucky and very special if we have any answers at all.
Mic Check 1..2.. Mic Check...
Since everyone and their dog has a blog these days, I decided it is time for me to join the masses online. I have no long term plan of an update schedule or even what this blog will become. This will most likely become, like my failed attempts at standup, a form of self therapy. That being the case if I was a betting man, I would bet that this blog will end up consisting of thoughts of a boring life, political, philosophical, and ethical views that make me unpopular with just about anyone who spends 5 minutes talking to me about them. (btw, thank the electronic gods for spell check on that last sentence.) I will probably also end up bitching about people, places and things at random. But hey, so it goes.
My short term goal is to get back into the flow of actually writing something on a regular basis. I have too many books of notes for stories, skits, jokes, novels, and what not laying around. It's time to do something with them. And it's high time to turn my mind back on after a several year hiatus.
What you should know about me? Well if you were sent this way by the internet gnomes, then you might need to know alittle about me to make sense of this gibberish. So it here it goes. I am almost 30. My name isn't on this because while I don't run from anything I post here, job market is harsh enough without a Google search bringing up something unpleasant. I am a child of the 80's who came of age in the 90's and find myself old and out of date in the 2010's. I have had several jobs, but never a career. Yes I did in fact graduate from college. Yes it was a Bachelors of Science, in Political Science. A BS in BSing if you like. I dont. Also minored in Philosophy.
The humor you may find in this blog will be random, off beat, and inside jokes of the worst kind. I apologize now. But most of the time the references should be saner that an emu on acid. (that is not a Family Guy reference, that is a Douglas Adams reference. If you dont believe me, look it up.) Also, fair warning. My writing style will change randomly and with no good reason. Part of it has to do with how much I've slept, how caffeinated I am, and how often I have edited the post.
Thats enough rambling for now. Time to post. Thanks for stopping by. I'd run away bravely now if I was you.
My short term goal is to get back into the flow of actually writing something on a regular basis. I have too many books of notes for stories, skits, jokes, novels, and what not laying around. It's time to do something with them. And it's high time to turn my mind back on after a several year hiatus.
What you should know about me? Well if you were sent this way by the internet gnomes, then you might need to know alittle about me to make sense of this gibberish. So it here it goes. I am almost 30. My name isn't on this because while I don't run from anything I post here, job market is harsh enough without a Google search bringing up something unpleasant. I am a child of the 80's who came of age in the 90's and find myself old and out of date in the 2010's. I have had several jobs, but never a career. Yes I did in fact graduate from college. Yes it was a Bachelors of Science, in Political Science. A BS in BSing if you like. I dont. Also minored in Philosophy.
The humor you may find in this blog will be random, off beat, and inside jokes of the worst kind. I apologize now. But most of the time the references should be saner that an emu on acid. (that is not a Family Guy reference, that is a Douglas Adams reference. If you dont believe me, look it up.) Also, fair warning. My writing style will change randomly and with no good reason. Part of it has to do with how much I've slept, how caffeinated I am, and how often I have edited the post.
Thats enough rambling for now. Time to post. Thanks for stopping by. I'd run away bravely now if I was you.
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